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Damnation on an installment plan

I'm still upset about Rich, but in a different way. Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I flashed on Goleta, CA, where he lives, and saw it covered with midnight-black, shiny threads, some thick as heavy cables, others almost microscopically small, all sprouting from a dusty gray-brown lump about half the size of a grown man. And that was him, become spiritually wizened and corrupt due to his drive to control others by messing with others' minds. What I was seeing was my mind;s way of portraying someone who was damned, not by making a traditional pact with Satan, but rather by small, incremental steps, day after day, constantly practicing spiritual and psychological bad habits such as dishonesty and controlling behavior. Over time most of his spiritual strength, wisdom, and health had rained away due to this. I was utterly appalled. He'd become addicted to his control maneuvers and, as any addict does, had been damning himself on an installment plan by indulging his jones for such ways of interacting with people. G-d help me -- may I never, ever fall into such habits!


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Yael Dragwyla

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