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I got into a weird discussion the other day with a New Ager. You know, someone who believes in the power of crystals (especially that big 10-karat rock her boyfriend just gave her), astrology (as done by someone who doesn't know either astrology or astronomy worth a damn), Tarot cards (her Tarot packs are all beautifully arranged on the shelves of a glass-fronted cabinet that has been locked ever since she got the Tarot packs and put them in there), numerology "Lessee -- (counts on fingers) one, two three, duh, pork chops this Wednesday, 225 and must lose weight, six, seven, don't eight!, ten, fifteen, nine . . ." (I'm sure you can fill in the blanks which I didn't here). She's into aromatherapy, tai chi (she loves to watch others do it, but doesn't do it herself), loves animals and adores PETA but can't be bothered to clean up after a pet or spend money on a pet's health needs at the vet's, etc. etc. etc.

So she was trying to convert me to her belief in the Age of Aquarius, "When peace shall reign everywhere, there will be no wars, no one will commit crimes or be cruel to others," you know the drill. "And it will begin when that awful Age of Pisces is over with." So I asked her, all the while trying to hide those little horns peeking from under my halo, "What planet rules Aquarius?" "Um, Mars, maybe?" "Do you know what Mars rules?" "Um, Scorpio?' {sigh} . . . "As a matter of fact, Uranus rules Aquarius," I tell her. "Oh, you mean the new planet out between Venus and Neptune?" "No, it's between Jupiter and Neptune. And it rules (are you ready for this?) revolutions, civil war, science, scientific breakthroughs, electronics, tyrants, weird sex, you know, things like that . . ."

I seem to have this effect on certain people, causing them to break out in terrible rashes of prurient hissy-fits, scramble the fratissnazz and drop the eggs off high buildings. She's one of them . . .

Posts from This Journal by “humor” Tag


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 9th, 2016 11:57 pm (UTC)

That was hilarious. We have that type too in PDX. I can't stand'em.

3 decades a member of the Pagan community and ya'know what we called those sorts. Sewagers. As in they would plop there Visa gold card down for any damn shite as long as it was properly packaged the more outlandish the better. Completely useless for the community accept as a source of compost and revenue.

When I sold jewelry back afore 911 I had whole cohort of them who bought our stuff. One memorably with pendulum in hand who used her "Guides" to pick earrings. At first I thought it was an elaborate scam to five finger discount. But nope she was serious and judging from her wardrobe her Guides either hated her or were color blind. But her payments never bounced.

Now a days if I run into a Sewager. I either call em on there BS or scare em. I think they avoid me now. Last one I saw was last Samhain. I twas reading Tarot at a private party and see asked me what Chanel I used to make my cards work. (I have been reading since my teens). I told her UHF and she told the Host I gave off negative energy. LOL

Jul. 23rd, 2016 01:47 am (UTC)
Yep. Another variant of the beast. I'm currently reading This is Your Brain on Parasites by Kathleen McCauliffe. I think that parasites in human brains would go a long way toward explain Sewagers, Nazis, antisemites, mobs in general, fads, and a host of other things that humans think and do. At least, judging from the behavior and attitudes of jerks like that . . .
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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Yael Dragwyla

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