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There are people who find my love of liberty, and willingness to do everything I can to promote and protect it, strange and repulsive. Guess what? Me and Liberty go way back. When I was 16, in 1961, I became convinced I would never again be at liberty or have the freedom of my mind and soul to become the best possible. So I decided that since only in death could I truly be free, I would kill myself by inducing intestinal peritonitis in myself by swallowing really large bobby pins, thinking that by the time it was discovered I had peritonitis, I'd be dead of it. Everybody including my adoptive mother, people my own age, and my adoptive mother's relatives hated, loathed, detested, and despised me, and I figured that with my death they'd stop doing so, so it would be a great thing all around.

I almost succeeded. But I couldn't stop crying out at the pain when the condition went critical. I was taken to L.A. General Hospital, where they operated and found out what was wrong and, to make a long story short, saved my life.

My probation officer hated me for it. So did numerous other adults. For punishment I was placed in two different, hellish foster homes that nearly destroyed me. I was finally able to get out on my own -- through a trick -- quite legally when I was 22, but by then what I had of my social instincts were in complete disarray and I was under a permanent emotional crowd. I tried going back to school, but even at university the bullies could tell I was in a chronic state of despair and did everything they could to exacerbate it.

I have never had a life worth living because of this, save for my cats, who have all loved me. The man I was to have married, who loved me and whom I loved, was killed in a car wreck three weeks before we were to have been married. I have never been loved back by anyone since -- and he was the only one in my life. Other than my cats I have never had a real reason to be alive.

. . . Except I do have such a reason. My country, and all the freedoms she has given her people, shining an enormous beacon of light into the dark, dark corners of the world that dictators hate with a killing rage and people in other countries admire and crave. The G-ddamned "liberals" and their Leftist ilk may well decide to kill me to shut me up, but in the meantime I will keep on doing what I can do: alert the world to the evils in it, and try to inspire in others the will to fight back, to prevent liberty and all the opportunities a free country gives its people from being taken away from them and their descendants.

I love liberty more than life. I can think of no finer death than to die defending our freedoms.

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